After starting my career in market research with an encouraging, innovative and high achieving team (based in an old ammunitions warehouse in Islington, London), almost 6yrs later I bought a one-way ticket to Sydney. Then after almost 3yrs working in an equally high achieving agency I burnt out.
What followed then was pretty much ‘stints’ at various agencies and client side roles that suited my desires at the time:
⁃ be a specialist
⁃ reconnect with media tracking
⁃ learn to teach
⁃ start a family
⁃ support my husband’s company
⁃ start contract-work, which I was always unsure of doing
⁃ reconnect with an old colleague and challenge my skills in a new industry, finance
⁃ continue family growth
⁃ work in magazines (my dream since forever!)
⁃ reconnect (again) with an old colleague and learn about health insurance
⁃ reconnect with an old boss at Australia’s biggest bank (I still cannot believe I got a job there)
⁃ and then finally move cities and move back into health insurance
Now that’s quite a journey hey! It’s not at all what I expected to be doing, but I don’t regret it, it’s been amazing. It’s strange though because I always said in interviews that ‘I wanted to belong’. Hmm, why didn’t I stick around very long then?
Dopamine!!!
I never knew it but I was chasing dopamine. ADHD brains seek significantly more dopamine than neurotypical brains. Simple.
I could post-rationalise every single job move that I made and I thought I was being smart. Well I was smart in a way, I was listening to my true self – I was always authentic, always passionate, always honest, always had high standards and tried my best.
Also, I managed to successfully network around Australia which is no mean feat for someone with social anxiety. I hate small talk, I hate events, I hate walking into a room full of people, but somehow I managed to unintentionally make some great acquaintances, and many great friends, by simply moving from job to job.
My husband has been more than patient as I have repeatedly embarked on new roles every couple of years. For me there was no choice to be patient, I was just driven. I didn’t know I had ADHD back then but I was ‘driven like a motor’ to chase opportunities. However, I didn’t realise that the changes were disruptive to family life – the late nights updating my cv, the lead up (and post- analysis) of interviews, the new office location resulting in changes to the family’s ‘out of the door’ routine…the impact on renovation plans with lack of company/salary continuation. I didn’t think of any of this.
I was just driven to learn, to grow, to make mistakes, to ask questions, to be in new places, to be exposed to new thinking, pick up new systems, adopt new ways of working…. Dopamine!!!
So, here I am 2yrs in at nib. I will be honest and say that I have reached out to people about internal roles that match my passions so well, I have reached out to acquaintances about external flexible roles that meet the needs of my family, I have looked to see what else is out there to satisfy my curiosity…but I have not updated my cv. This is a major change for me, this is breaking a 14yr habit.
I am choosing to stay put. I am choosing nib, choosing my teamies, my boss, my routine, the office, the systems, the learnings, the growth, the mistakes. I have realised that I don’t need to find these things elsewhere anymore, they are all here.
In fact they always were there in every role, I just didn’t know it. But now I have the knowledge about myself, the explanation of my ‘stints’, plus I have an employer that truly lets me be me and asks if I’m ok. Just yesterday I was asked: “Do you want to keep your nine day fortnight or change it somehow?” – that means so much, to be asked not told. It isn’t a set and forget arrangement, it’s a regular check in. It signifies an understanding that situations and needs change. And sometimes they don’t. Happy 2yrs+ to me!
#dopamine #adhd #womenwithadhd #career #knowledgeispower
Stripes & Trees 