I left it to the very last day of this month to continue my goal of a monthly ocean dip. ‘Typical’ some might say. I am not often a complete-finisher type and my emphatic declarations often fade away into a forgotten silence. But the warm days of May whizzed past as the nights became cooler and the chance of achievement became slimmer. However, there’s nothing like a bit of time pressure for an ADHD-er! It had to be today.
These stripes on my swimmers start out strong, in line, equally spaced, and with linear determination. But when they meet hurdles (lumps and bumps) or zips, they lose their perfection. That’s ok, they are still motivated stripes.
Before I started my monthly dip goal last June, I had been reading about cold water therapy for years. There is definitely ‘a way to do it’, with cold exposure tips, breath work and very specific information about the timing of when it feels hardest/painful. I thought that these tips would help, however even though I usually believe that knowledge is power, sometimes the power can crush the motivation if these smaller warm-up goals cannot be achieved. For example, I cannot stand for 30secs under a cold shower, which is often the prescribed ‘exposure training’. If I had waited to achieve this first, I would still be in training and would never have achieved 11 months of dips. I know I’m not ice-bathing (yet), but an outside swim on the eve of winter is still not easy.
I’m not discrediting the experts, but sometimes I think we just have to listen to ourselves. For me, the start of something is always the biggest hurdle – well sometimes I leap right over, other times I tread carefully, or back away. Being motivated to do something that is not actually necessary or is a bit unpleasant is really really hard. Overthinking is my middle name and having too much information can quickly squash my motivation.
Last week my boy demonstrated his immense drive when he is motivated (and it was not even gaming related, therefore not a necessity 😉 ). Being unsure for a long time about catching the bus home from school, and a mere day after declaring he wouldn’t do so until next year, he suddenly had a burst of motivation to catch the bus. It just so happened to be on one of the wettest days of the year, hmm, not ideal, not ideal at all. The news about severe weather was everywhere, but this information had no place in his mind. He heard the grown ups’ concerns about about the potential soggy clothes, the potential late bus, the inevitable wet shoes, but his motivation was so strong that he didn’t even consider these uncomfortable outcomes. Hubby and I knew we had to keep him riding that wave of self-determination. The conditions were not perfect but he did it anyway.
Over the months I have gone from an impulsive fear fuelled dive bomb, that got me into water at a temp of 16degrees very fast, to a slow and steady thoughtful walk into 19degrees with full body awareness and some breathing. Not box breathing, triangle breathing, or 4-7-8 breathing as recommended…just breathing. I knew that I just had to get in there, today.
The conditions today were not perfect:
- It was breezy at the baths
- I have a sore knee
- I I didn’t want to get my hair wet today
- It’s winter-eve
Declaring to hubby as I left the warm house ‘it’s too easy for me to say things but not follow through. I need to do this’. And so I did. Again. This declaration did not fade. It was a wave of motivation that I didn’t want to fall off and my lovely family held me up! Hubby didn’t question me (or doubt me), my kids came along and encouraged me (in their jumpers and hats), and in I went in the water in May.
Love Stripes and Trees xxx
Stripes & Trees 