With my new job comes a new morning routine. And this new pathway from bed to hot desk has led me to noticing new sights in the CBD (only 200m from my old morning scurry) – I see new shops, new cafes, new people, new traffic patterns, and new light patterns as the sun moves overhead throughout the day.

And I see new moon patterns too

And my new routine has led to the discovery of new music. Whoop whoop! I love discovering new artists, well new to me at least, but often they are well established. (I miss those Monday’s when I used it race to HMV and check out the new chart listings…one source, truth, no filters…these days there are so many niche charts, and as much as I appreciate a niche, I think it should stay hidden, by nature it is not for for the masses). Anyway, as always, when I come across a new track I become instantly obsessed and play it on repeat, and then some. Uninterrupted. Unapologetically. Get it in my ears!!!

So when I went for a jog at the weekend I just couldn’t bring myself to select the usual ‘Jog’ playlist, I needed more of the new stuff. Like a drug. I guess my dopamine levels are riding high at the moment! So instead of the angry upbeat sounds to help me pound the pavements, I had an eclectic collection of folk-rock, country-rock, punk/new wave, guitars and harmonies…) My dad would be so proud that I’m appreciating some of his music some 40-50yrs after he first did! I had a great jog, I still found my rhythm, still ran good.

I guess I usually to run for a mental release, and I counter-hit the stress with loud angry tunes, to encourage the purge. But it’s not necessarily the right thing to do. Doing the opposite to what you feel like doing is often the right answer.

⁃ Feeling worried – don’t retreat, be brave.

⁃ Feeling angry – don’t shout, hug.

Since my new job, the stress in my body and mind is not there so much, but I still have other life stresses that I need to run away from. Or do I? Should I be running with them? Finding a new way to deal. Perhaps I subconsciously knew that I needed gentler tracks that day, and the break from the norm in other areas of my life opened my mind up and to other breaks in my life. Jogging to Tom Petty (to name one artist), was a different experience and just what I needed.

My running tree blurred into the background as I noticed stripes that have always been there on the stretching bar – always been there, but I never noticed!

As I was running, my body was able to find its own groove. It was refreshing to be able to run for the music, not run to the music. Effectively running for the enjoyment of the song, not using the music to make me run a certain way.

Next time I’ll try nursery rhymes…kidding!

A new routine has led to this discovery. Wish I had mixed things up before.

Love Stripes and Trees xxx

Twenty years ago, in my first job in London, I heard something in a training session that I have shared with many people over the years.

• fear and excitement have the same physiological sensation, it’s how our mind interprets it that decides which one it is

The power of the mind, huh!

There will obviously be some situations that we cannot, and should not override, such as when we might be in danger. Fight or flight. A basic human reaction. Innate. Yet again, I talk about something that is really not new, it’s just that I’m having a moment and remembering it, or having a realisation about it, and my waffly brain needs to chew it up and spit it out. And pretty it up with photos of stripes and trees 😀.

All these stripes containing something…you can’t stop me!

Last week when I started my new job, I was mostly excited. Of course there was a droplet of doubt, but overall I was ready. Really ready. Even though I knew what was to come.

I am quite sensitive (ok, really freaking sensitive!) to things around me. The subtleties of sound, texture, lighting really have an impact on me, my tolerance is low and I can get really annoyed. I know that a new job equals stimulation overload such as:

• new colours, more colours, new tones
• new chairs (and now not my own chair – hello hot desking!)
• new sounds (new voices, more chitter chatter, more positivity, different lift sounds, new ringtone…
• new systems, new password, new keyboard size, new everyday conventions…
• new everything!

I’m used to myself now, so I have ways to minimise these stresses, although they are quite consuming for a while. To add flavour to the concoction of adjustment, I’m also highly introverted. Introversion is not shyness however, the often the two go hand in hand, but not always, and anyway, I’m certainly not shy, not backward in coming forward sometimes! I love speaking to people, I love asking questions, finding common ground, having a banter, finding out who people really are. People genuinely fascinate me. Being introverted just means I have a limited amount of energy for people each day. Once my energy is gone, I pretty much shut down, literally just stop talking and have to go and be by myself to recharge.

So…..starting a new job, frazzles me very quickly. Within a few hours of introductions, which I throw myself whole-heartedly into, I’m pretty much done for the day. Why do I do this to myself? I know myself all too well. Well, I think it’s because I have to. I have to follow my purpose and passion and seek environments and people where I can happily be me. The energy revives overnight. Everyday really is a new day. Sounds super dramatic, and I wasn’t even going to write about it, but it is a real thing.

So on day one I walked into the office. I had a good day as expected. I was living in the moment. I had no preconceptions to shape my responses. It was great. But overnight, the rest of me caught up. All of what I knew. I think I was subconsciously trying to make sense of my new world using my old world imprints. The imprints that I had purposely removed myself from. Arghhhh, go away. Stop thinking!!!!

Day two on the train to work was time for action. I needed another pros and cons list, just like I had written when deciding to change jobs. The same reasons I had written 6 weeks ago were in the same columns, nothing new there. Hmm. I kept at it, thought about how I was feeling and then the magic happened. The same word appeared in two columns. The same word was a con and a pro. Huh? The word was ‘unknown’. A downside of the new job was that it was unknown and a pro was that it was unknown. Or let’s rephrase that as scary, and exciting. I’ll take the latter please. That’s what I’m chasing. That’s what I decide!

A sign – a paver outside my new office

Even though certainty can offer some comfort, it can also lead to becoming stagnant and resentful and demotivated. I knew for sure that I did not like the knowns from my previous role so I had to go to uncharted territory, no choice. I’m so proud of my mind!!!

So, day two minute number one in the office was great! And this is how it’s going to be. This is going to be me. My mind chooses. Mental health.

Love Stripes and Trees xxx

My happy place – my tree master and my balance beam

I forgot myself

I realise now that I was out of step. I lost myself. To others. For others.

I was too bothered. I became consumed. I forgot myself.

Being heard, But not listened to. Can’t shout any louder.

Neat plans tangled, Into a confused pen scribble. Time to get out of the maze!

I trod out and climbed onto a seesaw. The inevitable wobbles helped me. And I made it across.

As I look back, I see the path. But I will keep on walking.

Now silently contented. Now rebalanced. Now me again.

Ready. Let’s go. Me.

Love Stripes and Trees xxx