Stripes look perfect,

Bonding a to b.

Strong and certain,

Orderly.

Confirming rules,

Predictable,

Providing comfort when the world is a spiral.

Mesmerising,

Beautiful,

A movement so true.

A sound so pure and constant, a whisper.

Contrast is welcomed,

And so is a ruler,

As stripes dance in spaces with rhythm.

Up or down, side to side,

Around a column or over.

Changing course and taking an angle,

Widening or narrowing as suits.

Stripes adapt, stripes evolve,

Stripes belong.

Stripes are certain, stripes are strong,

Stripes are where I belong.

Stripes and trees x

Stripy shadows from the landing

When I was a kid I used to spend a long time sitting at the top of the stairs on the landing, somewhere between the world of growing up and being a grown up. Sometimes I’d take some colouring in books, or a knitting nancy, as an activity to do whilst quietly listening to my parents talk to each other, or their friends, or some random grown up like the financial adviser. Curiosity for this grown up world was rife.

Yesterday, as a grown up I was feeling curious and looked inside my daughter’s spy notebook (well, who could resist that?) She, along with her sidekick (little bro), has recently started a new hobby of ‘spying on parents’. My curiosity of her led me to discover her curiosity of me. She’s on the landing (well, metaphorically)!

The same day we also hosted a party for the her little brother. Even calling him ‘little’ brother indicates how we like them to stay younger for longer. Yet their desire is to grow up:

‘when I grow up I will be as tall as dadda’, ‘when I grow up…when I grow up’ and we in return say ‘when I was younger…’.

If only the ability to swap places, as in the Freaky Friday movie, was real! I’d be up for it.

And as I think of my children and their spying of me (I’m really quite boring, what must they think?), it reminds me to think of my own parents because I often forget that I am still a child too. However I think they are also on the landing, observing how we are parenting, listening to our conversations with our friends, trying to keep up with the current trends that were actually real first time trends back in the day, or feeling proud (I hope) of who we have become.

We recently renovated and now have stairs and a landing (see photo). I’m so happy to have a landing, it’s one of my favourite places in the house and now I know why. It seems there are lots of people on the landing. My family near and far. I built it for us.

Stripes and trees x

As New Year’s Eve comes and goes, it is hard not to fall into a moment of reflection. But I’m struggling.

My literal reflection in a mirror is my face right now…but my face has been shaped by my past experiences, and it shows my determination for the future. But today on New Year’s Eve I guess our job is to go beyond the markers of life (dark circles and glimpses of grey hair), and instead reflect on the inner-self.

My choices, my strength, persistence, resistance. It’s time to rate myself. Hmm.

I’m not comfortable and my brain hurts ruminating over thoughts such as:

‘Was it my fault that I couldn’t do x, y or z?‘ ‘Does life happen to us, or do we make it happen? Do I ever really have control?’ ‘What are my resolutions this year, my goals, motivations, intentions, life purpose…?’

I decided whilst out running this morning to avoid treating this day as an extended question and answer session. I consciously decided not to set any resolutions or goals (however in saying that I’m already stating a goal…a goal of no goal!) I really just want to be, I want simplicity and gentleness and care (self care – yes please!) My mum always said “look after number one first” – and when I was growing up and told people this, I was sometimes met with a look of disdain. No-one could understand how a mum could say that. But now I’m a mum, I get it. It’s not new news, it pops up in many different ways – most confronting is the oxygen mask instruction on a plane.

Anyway, back to not-reflecting. What I do like about this day is the beauty and the poignancy of the sun. Up it goes, around and down. It gently says hello to me, to my family near, and far away, to strangers all over the world. How lovely. Thank you sun.

In my photo today, interestingly the sun’s reflection in the water is stronger than the actual sun in the hazy morning sky. What does that mean? Nothing. It’s just as it is, as it was in that moment. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing ☀️.

Stripes and trees x