You may hear this phrase from time to time, people sometimes throw it your way when you seek their advice, trying to help of course, but not really knowing what to say…or sometimes you might say it first in an attempt to change your victim mindset and avoid potential judgement. But even though it provides some comfort by providing perspective, it somehow feels wrong to feel better by comparison, benefiting from someone else’s misfortune. Also, what if it does get worse? And what can the person do if they are at the very bottom of this, what if they are at the worst? This phrase doesn’t really work for me.

Recently watching some highlights of European tennis tournaments, I realised that it jarred with me when match points are won on an opponent’s double fault or due to another error. Wouldn’t it feel better, be better, if it was won due to self? I’m clearly not in the position to understand the full intensity of a win at that level, the years of gruelling training, but still…

Perhaps it’s just the way we look at things. Turning a ‘not ideal’ / ‘not what I hoped’ into a positive, an opportunity, a reality. I mean we can’t change the past so why dwell on whether the outcome is perfect…what is perfect anyway? We can’t change what has happened, all we have is now. Hmmm, haven’t I said that before, in another post? To myself, to friends, to my children…? Oh goodness, I keep coming back to that. It must be true. And it’s not new news. It’s everywhere. It’s truth. We all know this. It’s good to have a refresher though. And today whilst jogging I listened to Osher Gunsber’s podcast where he was interviewing Damien Echols (Memphis Three), and Damien articulated living in the now so well. And jeez, he would know.

My photo captured the stunning subtleties of a sunset sky, effortlessly blending pinks and purples and blues. This moment will never be the same again. A new day provides the new axis/angles for the earth’s rotation, on the earth itself the weather may be different, I may be standing in a different place when I take the photo…so many variables. So all that picture is is a moment.

This is it. Yes, right now, this is it. All we truly have is right now. This moment. No, we don’t even have the moment from 10 minutes ago. That is a memory, it is part of who we are but it is not exisiting now. And memories fade or get distorted, tricking us into believing something is really amazing or that something happened when actually it didn’t. For years I thought my godmother’s mother was the singing coach to Julie Andrews aka Mary Poppins, my claim to fame – I told a lot of people…but, it’s not true!!! Not true in the slightest. I’d obviously misunderstood something, turned it into a story and the retelling of this placed Mary in my memory.

So if memories fail us, what about the future? Well, not even the future is reliable. That holiday we have booked and paid for may not even happen…who knows what is around the corner?

So all we truly have is now. And that is fine. It might not always seem exciting when we are washing dishes or commuting in a squishy train carriage next to people coughing or with body odour…but at least we have a now. And if we fully focus then we will see so much in the now. This is where mindfulness comes in to play I guess. Note to self, I must do more of that, although I think I’m doing ok at it without fully labelling myself as doing so.

So let’s just be. Here. Now. Let’s stop the comparison, stop the dwelling on the pst, stop the reliance on the future. Let’s be. Easier said than done, but we can try. Now.

Love Stripes & Trees xxx

Don’t you just love it when you can really feel your mood (good or bad) and your physical body responds to counteract it? Oh the power of the subconscious mind!

Look at that golden beauty, twice – yesterday’s run (not so good but the scenery was ✨)

I just did a fast 5k Sunday run, and when looking back at my stats the fastest part of the run was at the base of the hill, slightly surprising considering there are some smooth flats, but it occurred exactly when I needed a rocket boost. A sub 5k per minute pace too, yessss! I took on the challenge good and proper and got myself to the top, every time. (Well, except the last lap, because quite frankly I had overcome the challenge four times and I was tired!)

I needed that today. I really did. My mood has been off of late. I’ve been at the bottom of the hill. Trying to climb it, getting halfway and then either being pushed down or sliding down exhausted. It’s just life stuff. Nothing terribly bad, nothing really that bad at all (when reflecting in a quiet moment), but nonetheless, day to day it is relentless and tiring and I’m not really being the person who I want to be. There are some challenging work issues, some challenging kids (well, kids just being kids I guess), tugs on the heart strings as I miss my family far away, mid-winter darkness, low iron levels, and hormones. You see, nothing bad. What’s my problem?!?

I think it’s my brain. I’m an over-thinker. Thoughts always whizzing around – this way, that way, on top of others, going back to pick up something forgotten, changing direction – it’s like an ants nest in there sometimes!

When I run I’m still thinking, thinking too much, but it is at least more focused. After my power boosts up the hill I feel amazing. I feel empowered. And I have some clarity. Those other life things have not changed, but I have changed – in just 25mins. I am the only one who can change. I’m in control after all. I am stripes!

You know, I think why I like stripes so much is because the life we live is not stripes. It’s random, it’s twisty, it sometimes cracks or is a tangled mess. Stripes offer a reprieve – order, neat, contained, ease – you know what you get…and it keeps on going! Somewhat like ants above ground, following the track, orderly, strong. This is what I want to be. Not an ant 🐜, but more in control. It’s down to me. Only down to me. And I can do it, but not always at a sub-5 pace and hopefully not always uphill.

Love Stripes & Trees

Today’s moody palm

Running on Sunday was part of my weekly routine, and just as my body craved the movement it also felt reluctant, heavy and slow – and this was even before I had set off! Maybe it was due to the equivalent of 5 aqua aerobic sessions whilst playing with the kids at the pool in the morning – that whirlpool is deceiving (gently floating on the surface but lots of moving legs underneath!)…and it sucks you right back in again as you try and break free! Anyway, more on the pool shenanigans later. I just wasn’t 100% feeling up to my usual Sunday session.

So what I did was run a different way. No, not backwards or with comedy legs, I mean I ran a different way round my track. Instead of fearing the not-up-to-standard pace (set by my own competition master in my own head), I gave my brain a break, and went the other way round. Non-comparable.

And you know what happened? I parked the car in a different street, I started my playlist on a different track, I ran up not down and down not up in certain parts, and I saw different things. I felt different things. I am different for it. Plus despite relieving my brain from coaching duties, it actually had a good workout…instead of knowing what to expect and taking things for granted, it was kept in its toes and made new pathways, as I did with my real toes in my running shoes.

The photo would not have been taken had I gone the usual way. It was perfect. Stripes from blocks. A different perspective.

Now back to the swimming pool. Oh my. We had a vending machine moment. Four hungry children, two tired mums, and a machine that in hindsight was very similar to my reluctant body before the jog. Three packets of Skittles and one Dairy Milk bar was the order. Easy.

• Card tap. Done.
• Now what’s the code for Skittles? E what? Oh the one without a proper label. Great.
• Let’s guess E9.
• Now it says card not working.
• Should I press E9 before tapping, or after?
• It’s thinking…oh it’s declining.
• Fine, cash it is.
• $20 in. $20 out.
• Noooooo! It doesn’t take $20 notes.
• $5 in. $5 out. Huh?
• Not wanting the plastic money. This machine wants metal.
• Coins in. And out. And in and out, repeat 27 times…very fussy.
• Yesssss, we made it to the first packet Skittles. Success.
• We got another packet. E9 you legend. Half the field are happy.
• Now we switch to chocolate. Easy. Done.
• And now back to E9.
• It whirrs. It twirls. It stops. It stops!!!! Nooooooo! The Skittles are stuck!
• We bang, we tilt, we fear alarms and security.
• The Skittle-less child is crying.
• We find more metal. In out in out.
• We press E beeping 9. It whirrs. It twirls. It drops the stuck packet…but leaves this new one hanging!!!

We cannot cope. We seriously did not need that. We laugh. We could’ve cried. We had a different perspective. That was our super power in that moment.

My daughter cried. In time she will learn to laugh at such frustrations. She needs to learn perspective and I think the only way is with more life experiences. Plus we need to know ourselves first, and that takes maturity, an awareness of ourselves and an understanding of the bigger picture. And that develops from vending machine mayhem, the little moments that teach us so much about ourselves, and others. And also that sweet treats can certainly help 😉

Love Stripes and Trees xxx