When I started this post I thought I needed to spend more time on it than usual and be more articulate and profound, but on reflection, I don’t, I just need to be me. Authentic, kind and with purpose. Here we go…

This has been a big week for me, and my two close colleagues. My mind is still ruminating over what it has been presented with. I’ve been brought up to not show off about things, and saying that I saw President Barack Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Sir Richard Branson and Ashton Kutcher seems a little like showing off, but honestly, as much as I feel privileged to have sat in their presence, and without downplaying their amazing achievements, they are just humans and they made me feel so normal. Nothing to show off about. I just want to share. I still feel hugely privileged though, I doubt that will ever change.

Deciding to spend time away from my family in Australia was tough, deciding not to spend the time (and the airfare) with my family in the uk was a hard/guilty decision too, and therefore spending time with colleagues who usually get my attention 4/7 of each week was an odd choice. Except it was the only choice. We had to do this. It was the opportunity of a lifetime. We made it happen.

The three of us went to a corporate summit in Salt Lake City, for Qualtrics, a platform we use heavily in our daily jobs. The chance to learn more, learn deeply, and be focused without the usual office dramas, was hugely appealing in itself.

Additionally, Salt Lake City was a place of mystery and intrigue. Mormons were almost always the first word thrown back at me when I mentioned SLC or Utah. I don’t even know if I saw one. I really don’t care. I saw people. Lots of people. 11,000 people at least at the conference.

But amongst the preconceptions and the immense crowds, SLC became the place where I felt like me again, and where I got an energy-injection (despite jet lag and over-stimulation and long long days and nights), and clarity on so many aspects of my life, both work and personal.

Spring in Salt Lake is still more wintery than the winter where I normally live in Sydney. But despite this, the outdoors was calling, all the time. I love nature and I sought it out whenever I could. A glimpse of the mountains, a breath of fresh air to counteract the overused air in the palace conference centre, the snow was always within sight, just not within touch (I missed the flakes fall by just a few hours). And of course there were trees. I can always find trees.

I knew long before this trip of some simple truths about being human:

⁃ we should be kind

⁃ we should be authentic

⁃ we should have purpose

And during this trip, these three things (always three things, as my hubby says), were not only confirmed, but were reignited for me.

The stories, wisdom, passion and certainty that I heard, right out of the mouths of these incredible humans (yes, right outta Oprah’s mouth, Barack’s mouth!), were so similar in nature that the message became louder, despite their individual achievements being so different.

Instead of feeling worlds apart and disconnected from these people, instead of feeling that I could never do anything remotely important as they have, instead of feeling small and shy, I actually felt more normal, more human, more capable, and more like me than I’ve felt for a long time…if ever. I felt truly humble. I’ve not had that before. And I thank them for that, their authenticity, vulnerability, honesty, and kindness to share.

I can’t deny that there were two standouts, the big ‘O’s’. Obama had the aura, the sense of instant calm, the command of silent attention (was he even real?), and Oprah had the voice, the command of life experience and inner belief. But collectively, all speakers reflected the desire to make other humans lives better. All have an incredible work ethic, they have all fought through tough times (it’s all relative), and they recognise their support. They are not alone, they are connected humans and they are working with what they have.

I was expecting to walk away knowing how to do my job better, but what I have walked away with is so much more. I can do my life better. This is not SLC religion-infused, but I now believe in myself and I’m determined to define my true purpose and act upon it. I will be ‘woke’ according to Ashton! I will simply be happy, according to Oprah.

And back to the trees…trees know what they are doing. They are working with what they have. All over the world trees are trees. Sometimes the same type look different, sometimes the same, they face different challenges (climate, resources, disease…certain inhabitants 🐿) but they are simply making the most of what they have. Standing proud. Being true to themselves and just doing their thing.

Oprah even referred to trees when she spoke. Admiring with amazement 6 trees in someone’s backyard as a kid, to now having 3,600 in her own backyard (claiming to have hired a ‘tree counter’ to confirm this). She recalled a moment recently when she saw those trees and remembered her beginnings and what these trees represented to her.

Trees are magic. Life is magic. Make it happen.

Stripes and Trees xxx

Stripes and neon

Every time we go to the local Chinese restaurant, usually on birthdays, my kids do the same thing. Every. Single. Time.

Here’s a basic callsheet…

They ask for steamed rice.

They ask for water.

They refuse the most delicious salt and pepper prawns.

They refuse the fresh perfectly cooked Chinese broccoli with oyster sauce.

They refuse the green tea.

Then, they take their shoes off in the restaurant.

And they go and see the fish and lobsters in the tank.

They make a mess.

So why do they get so excited about going for dinner here? It really doesn’t sound like much fun, does it?

It certainly isn’t fun for us parents who feel annoyed, frustrated, stressed, and deflated. Hoping that this time will be the one that some nutrients and some flavour is consumed. Hoping that they will sit still and converse with us, hoping that we don’t leave apologising for the mess, hoping that this time it’ll be different. We’ve been to this restaurant numerous times over the years with the kids, they should know better!

But the kids don’t want it to be different. They know that they want. It happens. Every time. Every. Single. Time. Expectations met.

The problem is us. Our expectations are different. On reflection, we are probably trying to fit the kids into a grown up world. We’ve been to this restaurant numerous times with the kids, we should know better!

Yes, we should know better! Albert Einstein might say we are actually insane. Famously saying: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”

I would much rather go to our birthday restaurant and have the kids’ experience rather than mine. So, next time I will be ok with their dress code of no-shoes (it’s not how I was brought up, but we’re not exactly in a hatted restaurant); I will be ok with them racing past tables and wait staff to visit the fish in the tanks (it is pretty fascinating – it’s just an aquarium to them, not the discomfort of death row); I will be ok with the rice and water dinner (hey, it’s cheaper!); I will be ok with the food mess (the other day I saw another family who had made an even bigger mess than us and I felt relief, it happens to us all, for many, many years).

It ain’t worth crying over spilt rice.

Stripes and trees xxx

So dementia. It sucks. Just like any condition. But that doesn’t mean I can’t talk about it as if it’s the most important thing right now, it’s all relative. Literally. My dad has frontotemporal dementia (FTD for short).

I ran 5k today to raise awareness.

I’ve been thinking whilst running and realised that I cannot change the condition, I cannot change that my dad has it, that I may too, but what I can change is me. Change my reaction to it, to him, to others with it, to those that are carers (professional and non). It’s funny (well not at all really) that when someone has a diagnosis we respond differently, we only want the best for them, no more cross words, we want dreams to be achieved…but how many of us have underlying conditions or a tragic accident around the corner…not meaning to be morbid but we are all heading that way. So, let’s really truly try our best, and then some more, to be nice and kind to each other and ourselves, and live in the moment. I’m not saying enjoy each moment, because sometimes moments are shit, but each moment means we are alive.

Whilst running I saw so many trees, plants, flowers, birds, and I just don’t know what they are. I reckon my dad would know some. I wish he could come back to Australia one day ☹️.

At the 5k point, I wanted to take a photo of a tree, but where I ended up was on a concrete bridge. Not my plan. In fact I had thought about my end goal a lot. I could’ve done a 5k run back to my favourite tree, but that is my special tree, not my dad’s tree. I could’ve taken a photo at my halfway-point tree, but today the tide was high so it looked a bit odd. Also I knew that I needed to keep going, repeat what I had just done, and my legs were already feeling heavy. I could hear the words of my sister, and no doubt my mum saying “at least you’ve got legs Stephie.” So on I went. In the end, as you can see, I took a photo of ‘recycled’ trees, turned into story poles, reminding us of the importance of the Cooks river and ecology to Aboriginal people, past present and future. My dad would like that. I liked that.

Stories. Keep talking. Keep sharing.

Stripes and trees xxx