Reflections, of the sun

As New Year’s Eve comes and goes, it is hard not to fall into a moment of reflection. But I’m struggling.

My literal reflection in a mirror is my face right now…but my face has been shaped by my past experiences, and it shows my determination for the future. But today on New Year’s Eve I guess our job is to go beyond the markers of life (dark circles and glimpses of grey hair), and instead reflect on the inner-self.

My choices, my strength, persistence, resistance. It’s time to rate myself. Hmm.

I’m not comfortable and my brain hurts ruminating over thoughts such as:

I decided whilst out running this morning to avoid treating this day as an extended question and answer session. I consciously decided not to set any resolutions or goals (however in saying that I’m already stating a goal…a goal of no goal!) I really just want to be, I want simplicity and gentleness and care (self care – yes please!) My mum always said “look after number one first” – and when I was growing up and told people this, I was sometimes met with a look of disdain. No-one could understand how a mum could say that. But now I’m a mum, I get it. It’s not new news, it pops up in many different ways – most confronting is the oxygen mask instruction on a plane.

Anyway, back to not-reflecting. What I do like about this day is the beauty and the poignancy of the sun. Up it goes, around and down. It gently says hello to me, to my family near, and far away, to strangers all over the world. How lovely. Thank you sun.

In my photo today, interestingly the sun’s reflection in the water is stronger than the actual sun in the hazy morning sky. What does that mean? Nothing. It’s just as it is, as it was in that moment. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing ☀️.

Stripes and trees x