(card design: Christie Williams Design)
This card was bought just over a month ago for my dad. He would’ve loved it.
Today was/is/would’ve been his birthday. What tense are we supposed to use now?!?
We all do grief differently. We all do life differently. We are all different. I think the only rule with grief is that you just need to it in some shape or form.
Initially I thought I’d just need a day off work, then I quickly realised I needed more days, then I wanted more but couldn’t, and now I’m happy to be back working and out the other side. I’ve heard that it does come for visits again, at random moments.
In life kookaburras reminded me of my dad. Bird watching whenever the chance. Being quiet in hides as we tried to spot the elusive kingfishers, one of his favourites. No giggling or you had to wait outside. Fun times.
Most of my memories are now my dad being my dad, not him being my ill dad. His death freed his soul from his ailing body – for him and for me. I’m now remembering him being many different ‘versions’ as one of my sisters would say. The young-kid dad, the stressed teacher dad, the restless retired dad, the relaxed retired dad, and the ill dad. I’m pleased for all the versions that we had, I just would’ve liked a bit more of the dad from 1985 and maybe 2008. But we can’t pick and choose, we are there through it all, that is what family is.
A kookaburra is a version, or a family member of the kingfisher. In any year.
I was going to send this card to his old care home, however I think I’ll keep it forever now.
Love Stripes and (gum)Trees xxx
Stripes & Trees 
That’s a lovely post. I knew your dad well, before he became poorly and after. He was such a sweet man throughout. He was a real support to me in my life as a potter, particularly when I was first starting out, when he would offer words of encouragement and buy my pieces, when few people did! Your dad showed us your wedding photos with great pride when we visited him in his care home. Is it any wonder, with three daughters, that he always looked so worried?! I’m sure you must have heard that a thousand times! A friend of mine lost his dad a few weeks ago. He’d always had a poor relationship with his father and didn’t shed a tear. He said he felt nothing, which is tragic. I lost my dad five years ago. He was a wonderful man too. Like your dad, he was driven to make things, and we have many of his treasures in our house. Although we grieve now, how fortunate we are to have been able to love them in our lives and to hold them in our hearts forever, it hurts, but we are very lucky
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Thank you for your words Doug. It’s been so lovely to have contact with people like you that I have heard my mum and dad talk about. Sorry for the loss of your dad. We all know it’s going to happen one day but you can never prepare. And yes, we are very very lucky to have had these wonderful people in our lives, who have shaped us so. Treasure your treasures.
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